


I Like It Gentle

by BluKrown



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Choking, Cunnilingus, F/F, Friends With Benefits, Friends With Benefits To Lovers, Oral Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:07:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29447517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluKrown/pseuds/BluKrown
Summary: Yasha has found herself in a weird friends-with-benefits relationship with her crush, Beau. But sadly, Yasha knows this relationship is unhealthy and would call an end to it, if only she did not also have to cut ties with her in the process.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 4
Kudos: 71





	I Like It Gentle

The Mighty Nein had returned to the Xhorhaus in strained silence. All far too worn out both physically and emotionally to be up for much talking. So it wasn't surprising that they all separated to go into their bedrooms or their own private spaces as soon as they got home.

Yasha had thought to go to her room, perhaps to clean and sharpen Magician's Judge and Skingorger or perhaps check up on the small flower bed she had cultivated on her windowsill. But instead, she felt a hand brush hers as they went over the doorstep.

Yasha looked to see Beau, brow furrowed and looking anywhere but the barbarian. Yasha paused, waiting for the rest of the Nein to vanish up the hallway before turning to face the monk.

"What's wrong?" She asked, giving Beau's hand a soft squeeze.

Beauregard was silent for a moment, visibly pondering what she was to say. "I don't want to be alone." She finally murmured.

Yasha did not need time to ponder her answer. "Mine or your's?"

Beau considered for a moment, "Your's."

Yasha only gave the human's hand a squeeze before she started walking. Down the hall and up the stairs, Yasha soon arrived at her bedroom door. Opening up, she let Beau go in first before going in herself and closing the door.

Beauregard took her time looking around while Yasha put her weapons, rucksack and other items away.

"I didn't know you were growing something."

Yasha looked up to see Beau looking at the flowers growing on her windowsill.

"Yes, well, Caduceus gave me this um . . . random sort of assortment of flower seeds. He thought it would be fun for me to grow them and enjoy being surprised by each new bloom." Yasha explained, soon joining the monk by the window.

She too inspected each individual sprout. She hoped to find at least one blooming flower but there were none. Although the plants were at full height, the bulbs of the petals had not yet opened up.

"That's a shame," Yasha mumbled, leaning closer. "I had hoped to have a few in bloom when we got home."

"I mean . . . I'm not much of an expert but they look like they're just about to," Beauregard said, clearly trying her best to comfort her. "I mean, Cad would probably say something like, 'You can't hurry the true beauty of nature'." Saying the phrase in a low and mellow tone that, although not an exact replica of the firbolg, mirrored it enough for Yasha to feel herself smile.

"I suppose you're right." Yasha lamented.

She looked over to the monk to see her looking right back. It was the first time Yasha had caught her eye since they came home.

Beau had scuff marks all over her face and one fresh cut across her right cheek, if Yasha didn't know better she would've presumed she had been in a bar fight more than a full-on battle. But Yasha did know better. Although it didn't show on her skin, Beauregard's dark blue eyes were dark with exhaustion and frustration.

While on a mission to recover a mysterious tome from an old town in the north of Xhorhas, the Nein had arrived at their destination to see the whole settlement up in flames. Creatures of what race or origin they never quite found out were in the midst of destroying and killing the many fearful occupants. The Mighty Nein had been quick to act, swiftly quashing the monsters and joined in stopping the fires from spreading. Sadly, lives had been lost. At least ten villagers having died before or just as the Nein arrived. But with the needed tome in hand, they had promised support from the Dynasty and were teleported off. After that, they had given the text to the court of the Lucid Bastion and went home. In spite of the fact that Yasha believed the Nein did the best they could in saving the villager's, she knew that Beau would not agree.

Beauregard had been the first to confront the creatures terrorizing the town and, although in Yasha's periphery of her own fray, saw at least three innocences fall before the monk could reach them. And although Bea had acted like it wasn't a big deal, Yasha could tell it was. It was why she was here, after all.

Yasha and Beauregard had an arrangement. An arrangement where they slept together, that is. But this wasn't the normal sort of arrangement.

Yasha was not too knowledgable on 'arrangements' but from what she could tell. If this . . . relationship was normal, Yasha would only have to worry about the sickening sting of pain at watching Beau leave when it was over and worry about not revealing her true feelings and ruin this whole thing up. Instead, she also had to worry about not hurting Beau too much. Because Beauregard liked it rough. And not the type of rough in Caleb's smut books where someone gets slapped on the ass once in a while. It was the sort of rough that consisted of choking, hair pulling, bruising, spanking and any other physical pain Beau knew she could get Yasha to deal with her.

Yasha was fine with it but the amount Beau seemed to rely on the pain during their time together concerned her. It reminded her of the Yasha that paid for a fistfight with the champion of an underground fighting ring and allowed herself to get clobbered. But Yasha wouldn't tell Beauregard this. Lest she did and the only, although weird, relationship with Beau would end. Leaving her more alone than ever before.

Because she loved Beau. She knew the monk did not feel the same way back and that was fine. Yasha had accepted that and decided to take what she was given. At least that filled the hole in her chest just a little.

Beau looked at her with the same eyes she always did when they were alone in a bedroom together. So it did not surprise her when Beau came in for a kiss.

Yasha let Beau lead, enjoying how eager the monk kissed her. Soft goosebumps tickling her skin as arms wrapped around her neck. A tongue was soon brushing at her mouth to open and teeth were eventually giving an occasional nibble at her lip. This was a dance Yasha was very familiar with and she knew just when to take the reins and hear an excited moan come from Beau's throat.

Lips still locked, Yasha ducked down, tucked her arms around Beau's legs and scooped her up. Beauregard wrapped her legs around Yasha's waist mumbled a, "Fuck yeah," into the barbarian's mouth. The monk weighed nothing in her arms and easily let her hands cup at her ass as she moved blindly to the bed.

When Yasha's knees felt the edge of the bed, she let go of Beau so she flopped onto the mattress. Letting the monk only watch as she pulled her shirt up and off along with her pants. By the time she was only in her underwear, Beau was in her crop top and underwear too.

Beauregard's eyes were dark with giddy arousal as she then stretched out on the bed and smirked, "Well? Don't keep me waiting." Yasha hated that her heart almost leapt out of her throat at the look. But she did not show it.

Crawling onto the bed, Beau more than welcomed her going on top of her. Letting her hands trail down Yasha's muscular back to pay her back with a rear squeeze of her own as lips came down to meet hers.

The kissing was getting messier now, both women's hearts racing and chest struggling for breath making it more difficult to keep the embrace going. Yasha subsequently, but yet reluctantly, pulled her mouth away from Beau's to kiss at the monk's neck instead, to the approving huffs and puffs by the monk as she went.

Finding a suitable place, she let her teeth sink into the tanned, warm skin of Beauregard's neck. The woman below her moaned, shuffling on the bed in horny excitement. Her mouth closed over the mark until she lifted to see a mouth-sized bruise darkening the skin.

While Yasha busied her mouth on another, one hand pressed Beau's shoulder down to the mattress. Ensuring she did not move or make any funny ideas - as per one of Beauregard's many requests - and her other hand ventured lower.

Clearly knowing where Yasha was leading, Beau let out a low groan, bucking her hips to encourage her to pick up the place. Just for that, Yasha wouldn't. Or at least not go there quickly.

Instead of going between the monk's legs, Yasha pulled the binder-like-top up to free her chest. Unlike Yasha, who's breasts were rather large under her tight-fitting top, Beau's were smaller and mostly replaced by muscle. Although too flat to cup within Yasha's large hand, she still let her fingers rove over her chest and give her hardened nipples a teasing squeeze.

"Y-Yasha, c'mon," Beau pleaded, wriggling under Yasha's weight.

The barbarian ignored her, licking one of the nipples before her teeth came and gave an experimental bite. Beau whined, legs squirming. Yasha decided then that enough was enough and finally obliged.

Her hand went between Beauregard's thighs and her fingers dragged from tip to bottom of her lips, pleased that the briefs she wore were wet with her arousal. The monk below her groaned again, arching her hips to get more of her touch.

Yasha did not see why she should tease her anymore, pressing a kiss to Beauregard's lips, her fingers tucked under the waistband. Two of her fingers tucked from entrance upwards again, bringing up some needed slick, before rolling her clit with her fingertips. Beau moaned, delighted. Biting onto Yasha's bottom lip when a pleasure-filled shiver went through her. Yasha's fingers went down once more, only this time to push inside Beau. One finger at first, she easily found the sensitive wall that had Beauregard seeing stars.

It was not long after the second digit was inside her that Beau tugged at the hand by her shoulder that still forced her down. Yasha knew where this was going and although she had silently hoped to try being more gentle. The monk tugged her wrist to her throat, having Yasha wrap her large calloused hands around her neck.

Fingers still going between Beau's legs, Yasha gave an experimental squeeze with her other hand. The reaction was instantaneous. The monk gasped, airway slightly constrained by her fingers. Beau's body wriggled again, struggling through aroused energy.

Yasha’s grip then loosened, allowing a breath. However, Beau’s breath was wasted as she requested clearly, "Harder."

Yasha frowned but did not refuse. The grip at the monk's neck grew ever so tighter, Beau's very breaths were now faint wheezes. To stop her from asking for any more, Yasha used her thumb to rub at her clit. Aiming to distract Beauregard from the need to ask for more.

Yasha even stopped kissing her, kissing and licking at her neck and chest to better gauge if she was hurting her too much.

But to Yasha's dismay, Beau wanted more. Although Yasha's hand around her throat would surely leave an obvious hand-shaped bruise, eyes half strained half shut, the monk spoke again through Yasha’s grip.

"H-Harder."

Yasha had the thought to obey her, squeeze so hard around the monk's throat that she went out cold. But she didn't like this. Not one bit. Yasha could see it in Beau's eyes. Arousal, yes, but a storm of torment and frustration glittering as a single tear threatened to fall. That was when Yasha let her go.

Fingers out of her and hand away from her throat, Yasha ceased all physical contact with Beau.

Beauregard gasped, taking in the first full breath of air in a rough minute. But her bodily relief for air was not enough to stop her from lashing out at Yasha.

"W-What the hell, Yasha?!" Beauregard exclaimed, hand going to touch her throat where a ghost of the barbarian's choke still lingered.

Yasha gave Beau a moment to calm, or at least the chance to steady her breaths and mellow the sudden fury at stopping.

"I know you're frustrated about today. I understand you want . . . Want to relieve yourself from the stress of it all." She tried her best to be compassionate and empathetic if she was to explain herself and not risk losing whatever they had. "But . . .. I won't indulge in this . . . this self-hatred. I don't want to hurt you, not really. I don't want to see you so . . . so angry that you can only finish because I'm choking you o-or slapping you."

Beau did not seem satisfied, her eyebrows furrowed in a very reasonable orgasm-denied temper. But she didn't stop Yasha from speaking further.

"We failed them," Yasha said plainly, her chest aching as she recognised distress on the monk's face. "I know, I hate it too. But . . . I have learnt that pain will not wash away your anger or free you from guilt." Yasha then lifted a hand and covered it over the top of Beau's own, her thumb caressing the skin kindly. "Talk to me, Beau."

The monk was silent for a good while. Head hung but Yasha could see her eyes still moving. Trailing over the quilt of Yasha’s bed as if searching for the answers to her anguish in the needlework. The hand below Yasha's clenched around the sheets in a soft grip.

"You're right . . ." Beauregard muttered, not looking at her. "I . . . I just can't stop thinking about it. Like, I fucked up, man. I didn't - I wasn't . . . I couldn't make it and . . . they died before I could save them." The last few words were chocked, clearly so unfamiliar to the very speaker that she tilted her head away, even more, to hide her face from Yasha.

Yasha's heart ached with pain, it was rare to see Beau open up about what bothered her. Her cockiness was such a good mask sometimes that, at first, Yasha may have even believed that she didn't care at all. She knew better now.

"Those lives will stick with you. I can't lie to you about that. But . . ." Her hand squeezed Beau's, at least trying to show she was meaning to comfort her as she continued. "Beau, how many people's lives have you saved?"

Beau looked up at that, her frown not furrowed in anguish but, rather, confusion. "Uh . . . Like a few?"

Yasha let out a huff, bemused with the rare sight of Beau being modest. "Hundreds, I think. Maybe even thousands."

Beauregard let out a disbelieving 'hmph!', clearly not believing her.

Once again, Yasha squeezed Beau's hand in her's. She tried to convey with her eyes as well as words that she was sincere. "The best way to make up to those people is to make sure it never happens again. Save two times, hell, even three times as many people. I know you could do it."

Beau's eyes sparkled with tears. The hand not covered by Yasha's lifting to rub her eyes. She then let out a soft laugh, "I-I'll try."

Yasha smiled, leaning over and kissing Beauregard's forehead as the monk busied herself with wiping any sign of tears away. There was a warm silence after that, Yasha allowing Beau a bit of time to let her emotions steady.

"Have you . . . ever just been uhm been pleasured before?" Yasha asked. "Like, with none of the uh- pain and punishing, I mean."

"I mean yeah . . ." Beau shrugged, eyes averting once more to their encased hands. "Like ages ago, I dunno."

Yasha paused, mulling over her words for a moment. Did she want to risk it? She didn't see why not.

"Can I . . . Can I show you what I want to do with you? It won't be much different from before but . . . I want to uh- not hurt you for once."

Beauregard, to Yasha's shock and silent delight, blushed. It was faint, certainly, but it was unmistakable. A faint red glow on her cheekbones as she caught her eye.

"S-Sure . . ." Beau muttered.

Yasha leaned over again and kissed Beau on the lips. Just kissing. No tongue or teeth. Just Yasha's lips caressing and cherishing Beau's. There were merits to the hurried and rough dance the two did usually but this . . . Letting herself express to Beau, if only just a little, how much she loved her. How much she cared for her. She might not say it but Yasha hoped Beauregard could understand.

Beauregard let out a faint sigh, cupping Yasha's cheek to keep her close. Checking the waters, Yasha moved the hand that still covered Beau's, turning it over and interlocking the fingers. She may have felt the monk's fingers twitch in surprise but they didn't pull away nor stop from fitting with Yasha's.

Yasha let the kiss go on longer than Beauregard usually allowed. Finally pressing her tongue in, softly and almost shyly. She wanted the kiss to mean more than just lust.

Beauregard was always impatient, although she enjoyed this unusual scenario, she still was not known for her restraint. So it didn't surprise Yasha that Beau, in time, pulled away.

"C'mon, there's gotta be more than that," She whispered, a smile quirking her lip as she looked the barbarian over.

"No, but I told you, this is what I want to do," Yasha stated firmly.

Yasha was not usually controlling with Beau, in fact, although Beau was the bottom of the two, she was the one calling the shots quite often then not. Beauregard seemed to like Yasha's firmness, however, licking her lips.

"At least show me the rest," She mumbled before Yasha's mouth was on her's again.

Yasha did not stay long at Beau's lips, despite the fact that she would gladly kiss her all day if she could. She too could still feel the tingle of arousal, whilst dulled from the pausing, and was not one to complain about continuing.

Yasha first kissed Beau's forehead, tasting on her lips the slight salt of perspiration. Then she pecked her cheeks, her nose as well as the new scar that went over one of her eyes. Pulling away to look at her, Beau's mouth was slightly open. Her eyes a mix of confusion and want. Yasha could feel her searching between her own mismatched ones, trying to find the reason behind this sudden tenderness. Maybe she would tell her, but not yet.

After another quick kiss on Beau's lips, Yasha was now moving down her neck. The many fresh hickeys that blossomed around her nape were still tender as, when Yasha lay a loving kiss on the skin, Beau let in a harsher breath. The barbarian did not want to deal any more pain, at least for now, so she went down further to pepper kisses over her chest.

Over her breast and moving down to the end of her ribs, Yasha was greeted with the largest scar of them all. Discoloured and warped skin marked a strong cut across Beau's chest and stomach that would surely have been fatal if it went any deeper. She knew the stroke would've hurt because she dealt it. She kissed it. She had already been forgiven by both Beau and herself but still, it hurt to see it. Knowing she hurt Beau would never leave her.

Looking to Beau, she still seemed particularly confused. But she was breathing heavily and her eyes were half-closed with pleasant bliss. Her free hand, that was not still interlocked with Yasha's, going to cup at her cheek. Only leaning into her touch for a moment, Yasha continued.

Down Beau's body, she went until she was past her hips and brushed against the cloth of her underwear. Beauregard seemed to know where this was going, elevating her hips in silent enthusiasm. Yasha pulled the fabric down and quickly tossed it aside someplace behind her. Both hands going to Beau's knees and urging them open. Beauregard shuffled slightly, not hiding her excitement as she avidly watched Yasha.

Yasha kissed Beauregard's inner thigh, still teasing even if it was just a little. Her fingers traced up the defined muscles of her thighs, coming so close to Beau's inner lips only to trail back down once more.

Clearly frustrated, Beau groaned, "H-Hurry up would you?"

"No," Yasha said plainly.

Even so, she did slowly push a finger inside her. Enjoying Beau's inner muscles tensing and tightening over the digit in excitement. With ease she found the monk's favoured spot, dragging whimpers out of her.

"C-C'mmooon," Beau whimpered, hips buckling once more.

"No," Yasha repeated, kissing her inner leg. "I want to show you." She said simply, adding another finger inside her.

The two digits were only getting started when Beau grunted, "S-Show me w-what, exactly?"

"How much I love you."

It slipped out so easily, one would think Yasha said it every day. She did not regret it but she did feel enough worry to look up to Beauregard from between her legs. Hair now falling out of her monk-style bun, Beau's skin glittered with sweat and the faint tint of pink coloured her cheeks. Her eyes were wide and mouth open, frozen in a mild look of shock.

Yasha almost considered revoking her confession, or at least telling her to not worry about replying back-

"S-Show me then," Beau mumbled, one of her arms lifting to cover the lower half of her face to cover her embarrassment that was already apparent.

Cute. Yasha thought simply.

Fingers moved again, finding a gratifying rhythm that touched Beau's most sensitive of walls. Then, Yasha lowered her head to let her tongue lap at the bead of nerves at the top of Beau's cunt. The monk let it be known she liked it, hand reaching down to hold at Yasha's head. Adding a third finger, Yasha rolled the clit with the tip of her tongue, with each circle being like a turn of a gear, as Beau gradually became louder and louder. All the while, Yasha enclosed her lips around the bud and sucked it as her tongue still worked.

Beauregard seemed to now be going mad with pleasure. Head rolling back on her shoulders, her legs shook and closed around Yasha's head. Her body now constantly trembling, her mouth opened wide as the lewdest of noises came from her.

"F-Fuck, Yasha - hah - Y-Yasha I-I'm gonna . . . Mmh! I'm gonna c-cum." The hand-pressed Yasha's head closer as, finally, she climaxed.

All of Beauregard's body tensed, unravelling against Yasha's mouth and fingers. Her back arched and her eyes shut tight. And, as soon as the wave came, it left. The monk's muscles relaxed and her head dropped back against the mattress. The huffing and puffing of her lungs, soon the only sound coming from her.

Yasha wiped the slick and saliva that dribbled down her chin before she got up to lay beside Beau. The monk lifted one arm, an energy-drained invite to cuddle on the bed as Beau came down from her high.

Beauregard was clammy but Yasha did not mind at all. She also felt that, since she revealed how she felt, there was not much point in restraining herself. So once beside her, Yasha wrapped one arm around Beau's waist, her hand caressing her side.

Eventually, Beauregard relaxed, her breathing lessened and her eyes, in due time, opened.

"So . . . that's how much you love me, huh?” Her smirk was small but kind. There was no sign of distress or discomfort in her voice, but Yasha could still see the confusion in her eyes.

“Y-Yeah . . .” Yasha mumbled, shuffling on the bed as she felt her cheeks burn. “A-About that . . . Uhm, you don’t have to say it back . . . or even feel the same way back . . . I mean, I mean it, I really do but . . . don’t feel like it has to be reciprocated, you know?” Yasha knew she stuttered and stumbled on words often but here, at such an intrinsic moment, she cringed at her fumbling. “I just . . . I just wanted to uhm, say what I felt.”

Yasha looked away from Beau, hide the embarrassment and sheer giddiness to be speaking her mind after all this time.

The two were silent for a moment, or what felt like hours for Yasha, until Beau spoke.

“I mean . . . I can’t say that . . . the uh . . . love thing but . . . You know, I, like, like you a lot and . . .” Beau’s eyes looked anywhere but Yasha as her voice faulted. “But . . . I would really like it if you would . . . y’know . . . Be my girlfriend?” The words had just left Beau’s lips when both spoke at the same time.

“Wait, that sounds really stupid, you don’t have to-”

“Y-Yeah I would uhm, really like that-”

They both paused, having both looked at each other and their eyes catching.

“What?” Beau asked, her voice catching.

“I . . . I would love that.” Yasha repeated, feeling a smile easily grow on her face.

“R-Really?”

“Yeah.”

“W-Well,” Beau blanched, almost surprised that Yasha accepted. “Well uh . . . cool.”

Yasha could not help the smile as a warmth radiated from her chest. She scootched ever so slightly closer, till her shoulder was touching Beau’s.

The monk looked up at this point, having been preoccupied with tugging at a loose thread on the sheet while an abashed smile curled her lip. Muttering, “Girlfriend . . . Cool, yeah. Girlfriend . . .”

Yasha let out a chuckle and leaned in to kiss Beau’s cheek. Not feeling so afraid as she looked into Beauregard’s dark eyes. “Would you like me to show you how I want to kiss my girlfriend?”

A soft pink flush marked Beau’s cheeks and a light-hearted smirk curled her lip. “Go on then.” She murmured, just for Yasha’s ears and leaned closer.

Away from the bed where the two women now lay, far more relaxed than ever before, light shone through their window. Although in perpetual darkness in Rosahna, Caleb’s perpetual balls of light gave a well-deserved warmth to the Nein’s home and the manly plants that resided in the Xhorhaus. One particular ball hovered past Yasha’s window, lighting upon the seedlings on the windowsill. All plants still lay dormant, apart from one. A singular flower opened to display pretty blue and purple petals.

**Author's Note:**

> Love these two and am so hype for their relationship's development (still trying to manifest beauyasha date) after they save the world ofc
> 
> Pls give kudos and comment to let me know if you want more CR and beauyasha, I have some good af WIPS :3c  
> Otherwise, I commonly lurk around twitter and tumblr @BluKrown


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